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AbOuT mE
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Friends are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.
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hey there. i am feeling so much better than the last time i blogged. I had sooooo much fun today. Though i should have been dtudying, i went to Chuck E. Cheese's for Alma's 18th birthday. I got a ride from Tim's mom, and when we got there, we met up with Mary, Nicole, and Billi. Billi was excited cuz Blanca was supposed to come (but she never did--we all knew she wasnt going to show up). Alma was MIA for awhile, but showed up soon enough with her friends Miguel and 2 other guys i forgot their names. We had a lot of fun, ate some good pizza (Alma found a bug or mini cockroach on her plate) so we got a free one when her mom complained. We went into the tubes and took pictures on that little Chuck E. race car thing...haha, some XXX rated pix there =) . Nicole brought a little flask of Southern Comfort. That shiz is good, but it leaves your throat completely warm (I wish we had some of that when we had to walk to school this winter). After we had our fill of pizza, we all walked to the mall. haha. there's my exercise for the day. Getting there was an interesting experience. it was one continuous ass grabbing game. Billi and Nicole kept walking in the street and whatever. it was fun. We didnt do much at the mall, and Mary and I got a ride back from Tim's parents. I got dropped off at Tim's house and i needed to pick up the Mother's Day card from Edwin, so i went there. I chilled there for so long (from like 5:45 or so till 8:15). LoL. we talked about cars, and parents, and other stupid shit. haha. His mom's in TJ, so yeah, it was just us being stupid. His room's pretty tite except for all the clothes and car magazines everywhere. i dunno. He was playing soem of the CDs Jowin let him borrow, and when i got there, i realized that Saves the Day was playing, and he showed me "his and Bertha's song...but nOoOo, not no more" LoL. It was MxPx, and when i told him he was like "ahhh, i like MxPx" and the next song was a NFG song and i told him, and he changed the CD. LoL. I realized it was late cuz we were sitting in the dark, LoL, and so i gave him $5 for the card and he walked me partial way cuz he went to stay the night at his uncles. I looked at the card...omg, im so glad i had the guys pick it out. I had a feeling that they would get something stupid, but i underestimated their stupidity!! LOL!!! My plan was to have them get a card, and knowing them it would be retarded, and then i was gunna write in the inside "It took the combined intelligence of Jowin, Adrian, and Edwin to pick out this card...aren't you glad you have me as your child???" But now it will really be funny. The card is like this:
hey...i dunno whats wrong with me anymore. I feel like i can't control my feelings at all, i can only think about the same things over and over again. what if? what if? what if? fuck..."what if i had said something 6 months ago?" "what if i had done this?" "what if i could go back and change this?" i dunno. i am so confused right now. I feel like I am so empty, its hard to explain. Not just alone, but empty, confused. BLAH. Im just so aggrivated with myself, i can't stand myself. I feel like i am the most annoying person in the world. I cant even remember who i really am and what i really want in life. things have changed so much. I hope they change soon so i no longer feel like this.
wow. another exciting adventure. Well first the day was okai i guess, nothing exciting happened while at school. Same old boring shit. I tried being mean to him, i really did--im sick of the way he's such an ass to me. I let him use mywhite-out and he finished it off, whatever. We got into an argument walking home about the Supra i wanted and about license plates and Jowin's car. Luckily Jen and Andrea came and picked me up. I hung out at Andrea's house w/ them for awhile and had a religious discussion. I went home and caught up w/ Mary and Nicole. Tim came over, and we watched sum clips on my future car-- the Toyota Supra. Edwin told me he saw a 98 for 1, 200 thats an automatic. I dunno, i hope they still have it, but i doubt my mom will let me buy it even if i use my own money. But i love my little ghetto broken car. hahaha. Well anyways, I drove again, this time me, Mary, Boo, and Nicole all went so i could drop her off. She kinda lives by Jowin's house, so i decided to pass by and check out his new NSX, but i was pulling onto the street and i see a gold Maxima in front of me, and i was trying to figure out if it was Adrian or not when thei little boy jumped in front of my car as he chased a Dr. Pepper bottle. Then i realized the little boy was Edwin. LOL. So yeah, they were all amzed to see me, but i had just missed Jowins car cuz his dad had just taken it like 2 minutes before. Adrian pulled up to the side of me and told me to roll down my window....hahaha. The stupid thing is broken so you hafta hold down the switch and push it down with your other hand. They laughed. Adrian wanted to race, but i told him Fuck No, so he told me to follow him. We were going down the street wehn he told me pass him (he really told me to line up) and so i passed him to get in front, but i looked in the rear view mirror and saw his ass trying to pass me, so i freaked out and sped up, and because i was on the wrong side of the street (neighborhood street) I cut him off. I dunno how close he was to me. Then Mary yelled something about a stop sign, and i didnt know wether to stop or just go because i was going too fast and adrian was on my ass, so i slowed down as gently but as quickly as i could, which was damn near close to the equivalent of me slamming on my brakes. I think Adrian almost hit me...oops. From there i decided just to go home, i was scared something would happen. So we went to my house and i accidentally kinda cut this one guy off, but he wasnt close or anything...he had the right of way and i was too intent on getting home ASAP to see him. I was dropping off Mary by her street and Adrian pulled up next to me (sigh) and wanted to race, but i said no again and he met me at my house. I parked and they checked out my car and we talked for a lil bit, then they left. Shit man i want my license so damn bad. I am ready for that shit. 2.5 more months...damn. Im trying to rehearse my sister in what to say just in case the neighbors saw. kinda scared, but i think its all good.i hope it is.
i swear imma kick his ass. i wish we would just move, im tired of his shit. my mom deserves better and i think we deserve better. whatever. asshole.
wow...what an adrenaline rush! hehe. i just went driving...with Mary...woo hoo!!! Yeah today kinda sucked, i stayed at home cuz i didnt wanna go to school today so i told my mom my tummy hurt. i did some homework for awhile, watched some TV, and me and my mom (i drove) went to the card store to get Mother's Day cards and to Wal-Mart cuz i needed some make-up and face wash. Yeah, that little excursion sucked, i parked at the card place, and as i accidentally pushed the gas instead of the brake and ran up on the curb, That threw the rest of the driving experience off for me. After that, i almost hit a car, drifted into the lane next to me (for a short second--it was around a curve), parked shitty at Wal-Mart and did a really shitty job driving to Blockbuster to drop off movies. My mom was really mad...eh, tahts what she gets cuz i dont have enough driving experience. Anyways, she went to work at 3, so i was planning on picking up Edwin and Jowin to go see Edwins new MR2, which is his new love. He was telling me earlier how him and Adrian raced, and he fucked up switching to either 2nd or 3rd gear when he was about half a car in front of Adrian--letting Adrian pass him. O well, he'll kick Adrian's ass next time (c'mon, like theres any competition between an MR2 and an Altima!) So yeah, i picked up mary and Edwin as they were walking home and drove over there. man that car is nice, but i dont like the back too much..i dunno. It has 80's lights!!! haha! i love those lights, they are freakin hilarious. So after that me and Mary cruised the neighborhood for about 20 mins. Her aunt saw us..and almost her mom. Close call...hehe. Anyways, im thinking about taking Edwin and Jowin home afterschool tomorrow. I gotta get started on my hw and studying for that damn final and AP test.
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